▌♚ amelliorate

almost instinctively, sasuke was allowing it. his body dared to
even curve into the blondes hold, almost growing comfortable
in his arms again. head tilted ever so slightly, ALMOST allowing
the other to touch him. it was what he wanted more than anything.
he wanted naruto to look at him the way he looked at sakura. to
want to touch his skin to way he did with sakura. 

   & just like that,
the illusion was shattered. eyes widened, if only for a moment as
the other fell of the side of the bed. the shinobi sat up, running his
fingers through messy locks as the other stammered some lame
excuse or another as to why he needed to be excused. not that
the raven minded. he understood the situation PERFECTLY. he’d
taken enough from the jinchuuriki, & had no right to anything else
from him.        no claim to his heart 

“ where do you think i’m going to GO? “ he asked, his tone sharp
and dripping with sarcasm. feet dangled off the end of the bed,
waiting for naruto to move so he could stand. maybe start some
tea. he was never fond of mornings. he’d said he wouldn’t move,
but he didn’t see why naruto was so against the idea. 

                      ^{clearly, they were DONE here.}  

      “ hurry up. i need to clean up, too. “ 

▒  ▍_◣✸^◥  ▍▒ ➤

One look at the raven was all it took for
him to understand that his actions had 
been misinterpreted. The dark aura
had never felt so SUFFOCATING.

                 He wanted to tell him that he thought
                 nothing wrong o the RAVEN for what
                 had happened the previous night but
                 he knew better than to bring it up,
                 especially when the Uchiha was so
                 bent on seeing only the worst in the 
                 SITUATION. He wanted to scream 
                 him, punch him     & just cry. He just
                 wanted to show him a taste of what      
                 it felt like to fall back into square one
                 after he had tried so HARD, so damn
                 helpless & frustrated.      

❝ Fine. ❞ he gritted out, passing up on the
TEMPTING ideas & settling for a mere
clenching of fists & tightening of his jaw,
before grabbing a towel & stomping off.

               The bathroom door rattled in its hinges  
               as he slammed the door SHUT, before
               collapsing onto the floor against the 
               door, slightly muscular frame shaking
               UNCONTROLLABLY. It was fucking
               unfair. He had spent most of his life
               chasing the raven, trying to prove his 
               worth to him in everything that he did.
               He had made the Uchiha his PURPOSE,
               the one who gave him a reason to go on.

& even nine years later, since the day they first
met, NOTHING had changed. Sasuke still made
him feel just the exact same way     worthless. 
& he hated himself for feeling so.

              It was almost as if his existence was 
              VALIDATED by the raven’s approval 
              & that made him feels so warm & yet
              so utterly cold inside, at the SAME
              time. And all these years, he would 
              always rise up against the raven but
              right then, he just wanted to get away.
              Sasuke’s emotions were raw, &
              they stabbed him with every syllable.

He didn’t know how he had ended up showering,
but then again it was his morning routine to do
so right after brushing his TEETH.

             He wrapped the towel around his waist,
             exhaling a shaky breath as he mentally
             prepared himself to FACE the Uchiha,
             azure optics resolute. He wanted things
             to be normal, between them. & he’d take
             a thousand lash-out sessions if that was
             what it took. Maybe, just maybe, he and
             Sasuke only wanted the same things. &
             they both KNEW no way of getting it.

❝ I’m out. You can go in…after a moment. I
   just      Sasuke, I      About this morning,
   I was just surprised to see you. I wasn’t
   THINKING straight    or at all. You were
   just there & I hallucin      Nevermind. I

just want to a-apologize. ❞