▌♚ amelliorate

it felt like hours to him before the other emerged. probably because
he was still angry. time seemed to  c r a w l  when he was this upset.
he was hurt & bitter over something so stupid            over NOTHING,
really. he should be used to people scrambling to get away from him
… but it was different with naruto. he was never like that. it seemed
like he was always fighting to get to his side. always struggling to keep
up. sasuke knew he needed that in his life. he knew he needed someone
to care about him. someone to WANT him, even as broken & flawed as
he was. maybe that’s what stung the most for him. just seeing naruto
withdraw           trying so clearly to keep from touching him, like he really
was as TAINTED & TOXIC as he felt. 

black orbs rose to meet light blue, the scowl still set on his face from
earlier softening slightly at his team mates confession. surprised?
his head fell, studying the uneven floors to give his gaze something
else to fix on. as much as he wanted to believe him… as wonderful
as that would feel for him, he was cautious now.

    “ don’t be so stupid … & i don’t care anyway. so just move. “

his words tasted cold even to him, but it was the knee-jerk reaction he
was used to. this was how he always protected himself. how he kept  
from being hurt by EVERYTHING         he just had to act like he didn’t
c a r e. usually, that was enough.  

              but he wasn’t sure it would be this time.

▒  ▍_◣✸^◥  ▍▒ ➤

          HE was almost relieved upon seeing the raven’s features soften a little, almost hopeful that they could start their morning afresh and put this…mess, behind them, only to cringe inwardly as the Uchiha averted his gaze. Why was it so hard to just look at him in the eye & tell him how he felt? He was Naruto Uzumaki, & he was not by any means difficult to talk to…right? Of course, he had had his share of fights but that didn’t change ANYTHING. After all, hadn’t he spent years chasing Sasuke & telling him that he would always be his best friend?

          NOW that he thought about it, he knew he shouldn’t have walked out of their argument. He should have stayed & fought like he always did. But then again, that wouldn’t have made everything right, not when they were toeing on eggshells around each other, only to let out sudden outbursts. He just wanted Sasuke back. Was that too much to ask? Not physically, just…the way he used to be, before he left. Hell, he’d even be okay with the indifferent version of Sasuke he had been subjected to before he had returned. It hurt him to see Sasuke so hurt. It hurt him to know that he was partly the cause of it.

          THE vocables that fell from the Uchiha’s lips took him by surprise. The first part of his sentence was something he had expected. It was almost comforting in a way to hear the raven call him “stupid” because it felt so normal. But the next part of what he spoke was what hit him hard in the gut. Sasuke didn’t care. & as much as he sort of KNEW it all along, he had always denied it, saying that Sasuke only said so to make Naruto stop chasing him. But Sasuke was no back, for good. He had no reason to lie. & it made him want to disappear because he hated feeling so… insignificant. He hated how the raven confirmed his worst fears. He hated how a part of him was still saying, “I told you so.” 

                                 ❝ O-okay… ❞ his voice broke, tan features desperately trying to wipe the crestfallen expression off his face as he stepped aside, slightly moist azure optics lingering on the raven momentarily, before averting his gazr & letting out a forced chuckle, & heading towards the bedroom. 

 ❝  You go shower. I’ll get dressed &… make us some breakfast. I’m

not in the mood to eat ramen, anyway. ❞